My Life

Alright so ya'll know about my "hypertensive crisis" and my trip to the ER.........well, I went to the doctor this week and after a
full exam, she believes that I have obstructive sleep apnea.......it can cause all of the symptoms that I've described. The doctor
added a 3rd hypertensive medication, it's basically hydrochlorothazide with a potassium sparing drug in it. I used to be on
hydrochlorothazide years ago, but they took me off when I became hypokalemic (low potassium), apparently, that isn't a good
thing. So, I suggested that she run a UA C&S because my urine didn't seem normal (sorry for the TMI) - she told me she'd
order a complete blood work up on me and would also do a UA - though she didn't seem to understand that I really believed
there was an issue with my urine. Well, the next day, I went for the lab work........thankfully, this doctor likes all copies of
tests to be sent to the patient as well. I got my results and saw immediately, that I'm pretty "normal" as far as the bloodwork
goes........everything is WNL. My cholesterol level is 177, but my LDL is slightly higher than it should be.......101 (it should be
below 99).......and I could see right away that there WAS something wrong with my urine. When I realized it was Friday and
the doctor hadn't called me to put me on an antibiotic, I was slightly alarmed, so I called them told them to please call in a
prescription to my pharmacy b/c I had a UTI and voiced my concern that the doctor didn't seem concerned. Well, the office
never got the results!! I've had problems with DSI/Lab Corps at work, but they do hundreds of samples a week for us, perhaps
more, I can see a mistake then. I faxed my results to the dr and they prescribed Bactrum DS. WooHoo!!! That's the good
news...........

Joey and Brittany are still fighting.........they don't want to be in the same place at the same time. Brittany stayed away for
several days, I finally got her home and then Joey left and hasn't been home since. These 2 are vicious, he ripped her posters
off the wall, she beat the crap out of him, he threw her into the sofa, BROKE it. I called Anthony and asked him to help me
deal with these 2, he tells her to come stay with him. How the HECK does that help???!!! Joey is going back to NY........I
don't know when, but my mother agrees, it is probably the best place for him. She saw it when she was here. He's miserable,
can't stand me for whatever I did to him, perhaps smacked his hands while stealing cookies out of a cookie jar, who
knows.......I hate to say it, but I just don't like him anymore. Of course, I love him.........he's my son. But he isn't a likeable
kid to live with. He has fractured this house in more ways than one.

John, well, he's just an unsympathetic putz - I liked him because of his sincerity and sensitivity......where did it go???? The
other night, I had a meltdown, a real true meltdown - locked myself in the closet and balled my eyes out! John could care less,
told me simply to get off the floor and come to bed and when I refused, said "fine, then sit there" and walked away. I felt so
awful It started b/c I was trying to avoid taking sides in the whole Brittany/Joey fiasco.........John felt it neccessary to choose
sides and began to voice why he did. When I explained I didn't want to go down that route, he grew angry at me for not
wanting to face reality. Truth is, BOTH Joey and Brittany are wrong and I refuse to let either one of them think that I approve
of their behavior.

Aargh! I'm back to trying to make nice with John and avoid a head on collision between my middle children.................I'm
feeling like a crappy wife, terrible mother, and as my husband calls me "crazy"............anyone want a PNO????

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good nor talk too wise;

If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on”;

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings – nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And – which is more – you’ll be a Man, my son!

~Author Unknown~