The best inheritance parents can give their children is a few minutes of their time every day.
Children are natural mimics, who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.
I love to give homemade gifts...which one of my kids do you want?
Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.
Anyone who says 'easy as taking candy from a baby' has never tried it.
I asked Mom if I was a gifted child...she said I had to be 'cause they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.
Becoming aware of my character defects leads me naturally to the next step of blaming my parents.
We childproofed our home 3 years ago but they're still getting in!
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it
says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two Aspirin" and "Keep away from children."
Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.
