Sunday, June 20, 2010

Happy Father's Day!

Let us praise those fathers who have striven to balance the demands of work, marriage, and children with an honest awareness of both joy and sacrifice. Let us praise those fathers who, lacking a good model for a father, have worked to become a good father. 

Let us praise those fathers who by their own account were not always there for their children, but who continue to offer those children, now grown, their love and support. Let us pray for those fathers who have been wounded by the neglect and hostility of their children. 

Let us praise those fathers who, despite divorce, have remained in their children's lives. Let us praise those fathers whose children are adopted, and whose love and support has offered healing. 

Let us praise those fathers who, as stepfathers, freely choose the obligation of fatherhood and earned their step children's love and respect. Let us praise those fathers who have lost a child to death, and continue to hold the child in their heart. 

Let us praise those men who have no children, but cherish the next generation as if they were their own. 

Let us praise those men who have "fathered" us in their role as mentors and guides. 

Let us praise those men who are about to become fathers; may they openly delight in their children. 

And let us praise those fathers who have died, but live on in our memory and whose love continues to nurture us. 
~Kirk Loadman~

Today, I praise my husband who was a Dad to children he didn't have to be:

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

My baby boy turns 13!

When I first started dating my husband, he made it clear.......he had raised enough children and he didn't want anymore!!!  (so don't even try it!)  That was until the day I told him I was pregnant.  

From the beginning, I knew this pregnancy wasn't going to be easy........I was SICK!  So very sick!  From start to finish, I had lost 7 lbs.  During the initial Dr visit when I was 10 weeks along, they did a blood test.  The blood test showed that I was positive for Toxoplasmosis.  "Come again, Doc?"  Just what exactly did that mean???  For the average person??  Flu-like symptoms, if anything.  For a pregnant woman???  Not so good!  If the disease passes through the placenta to the unborn baby, there are several scary complications that may develop, including:  hydrocephalus, an intellectual disability, hearing loss, blindness, etc.  It was recommended that I go to the Maternal Fetal Medicine Specialist at the nearby hospital for further care.  During our first visit, he explained that my chances were high (13%) to have a child with major physical/intellectual disabilities, so the only option HE saw was to terminate the pregnancy.  Ummmmm, do the math..........that means 87% of having a child WITHOUT any major disabilities.  I liked THOSE odds better.  There was no question in our minds, this was our child, no matter what.  We had amniocentesis as recommended by the doctor and on that day, we found out we were having a boy!  YAY!  

John was thrilled.......since childhood, he always loved the name ADAM and now he was going to get him.
We cried for what could be, we prayed to be able to handle those things.  I took "experimental" medication.  

As my pregnancy was nearing its end, the doctor grew concerned that Adam had become too "lazy".  An ultrasound had determined that Adam was not "head down" and was in fact, "butt first".  I was scheduled for a manual version on June 4th and was admitted to the hospital.  During the pre-procedure ultrasound, they discovered that Adam was "head down" already.  Thank GOD he moved, because the version promised to be "uncomfortable".  The doctor sent me on my way and told me to stimulate the natural downward progression into the birth canal.  And WALK we did!!!  

At my last OB appointment, I was subjected to stress tests and an ultrasound where it was discovered that Adam had flipped again and was back in the breech position.  No manual version this time, it was too late, the baby was too big.  I was scheduled for a C-Section that evening.  Some more crying, a bit more praying and even more excitement on the way to the hospital.  

Adam was born that day, June 16, 1997 @ 6:16pm.  As I lay there, with the Doctor pulling and tugging on my insides, I listened to him talk about his Father's Day trip spent in a canoe on the Nissequogue River.  For REAL, DOC?!?!?  HELLO?!?!?  I'm wide open, my insides are exposed to everyone in the room, except me......I remember feeling like I just wanted to close my eyes, the Anesthesiologist kept waking me up  "stay with us, Jacqui, he's almost here!"  John stroked my hair and my head and then he was here.  Adam was HERE!  He was jaundiced, I saw it immediately when he was born.  But he was beautiful!  We held him for not nearly long enough before they whisked him away for"tests".  John and I were so proud of our son........all 8lbs 6ozs and 22" of him!

As I recovered and my son was placed in a "biliblanket" ~ the doctors told me that they had no choice but to send him to the NICU at another hospital.  He'll be leaving as soon as the ambulance arrived.  No, you can not go with him.  I was DEVASTATED.  I begged the doctors to release me......there were so many conditions to being discharged, after all, I had just had major surgery.  When I arrived to see Adam in the NICU, what struck me was how all those babies were so tiny, so frail, but still fighting.  Then there he was, my glo-worm, too big for the NICU's incubator..........please, someone, give me some answers.  No one had any........the doctor will make rounds "soon".  We never saw the NICU doctor the entire time we were there. My OB came to see me and Adam and he didn't know what the treatment plan was either.  We just needed the bilirubin level to drop.  My poor son was poked and prodded several times a day.  His feet looked like pin cushions.  

On June 20th, we arrived to find Adam removed from all wires, all lights.......what's going on?!?!?!  The nurse said, "Sign here and take him home".  No, we didn't have any far as they could tell, he was healthy, but only time would tell.

Today, that baby is 13 years old.  He's in the "gifted" program at school, was just accepted into citizenship camp, wants to play football and participate in wrestling.  He LOVES WWE, cars, drag racing, video games and texting.  And at 5'8 and 175lbs, he's growing into a fine young man.

Happy Birthday, Adam!